


An Angel's Love

by Castiels_Squishy_butt



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas being as sweet as he is capable, Cuddles, Destiel - Freeform, Ha thats a fitting tag, M/M, What am I doing with my life?, absurdly insecure dean, memory viewing, this was literally a dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-03
Updated: 2015-03-03
Packaged: 2018-03-16 05:05:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3475502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Castiels_Squishy_butt/pseuds/Castiels_Squishy_butt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There were a few things Dean Winchester knew: 1 Bert and Ernie were gay<br/>2 he didn't give a flip that he has feelings for his angel friend and<br/>3 He was so broken that Castiel wouldn't want him anyway, so why bother?</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Angel's Love

There were a few things Dean Winchester knew:

1 Bert and Ernie were gay

2 he didn't give a flip that he has feelings for his angel friend and 3

He was so broken that Castiel wouldn't want him anyway, so why bother?

 

Thats why his brain just shut off the day Castiel walked out to the garage where Dean was working on the impala - covered in oil and grease and said "Dean do you love me?"  
  
"Ah- SHIT" the hunter yelped banging his head on the cars bumper as he rolled out "What the hell?"  
  
"No it is I, Castiel"  
  
"An expression Cas" Dean groaned, hoping he heard Castiel's first words wrong.  
  
"Dean, do you love me?" Castiel asked again reaching into his pockets  
  
"Why?"  
  
"because I found these" The angel pulled out around twenty letters from his pocket and Dean felt dread enough to wish Castiel hadn't pulled him from hell  
"Where'd you get those?" he croaked  
  
"I was cleaning and they were in your pillowcase ~ answer me" Castiel said softly.  
  
"I- Yes-maybe, please dont hate me" Dean blushed furiously grabbing the letters but not meeting the others eyes  
  
"why didn't you say anything? These go back years!"  
  
Dean just dropped his head

  
“Whats the matter Dean?” The angel stepped forward, reaching to lift his face “Don’t you think you deserve to be loved?”  
  
“I-” Dean started but castiel interrupted “I’ve known you for years Dean and I know how hard on yourself you are. I rebuilt you. I placed your memories. You’ve had this self-loathing since you were a teen, when your father would or scream at you or hit you for doing anything against his will. You were conditioned to hate yourself and hell reversed any healing you had done.Please be honest, Did you mean what was in those letters?"

Dean slumped, defeated “Yes.Every word. I figured if i wrote it out you couldnt hear me think it”  
  
Then Castiel did what he saw Dean do to those in destress. He wrapped his arms around Dean and pulled him in for a hug, backing up until they were seated on the Impala’s hood and Dean was trying to hid the fact he was crying  
  
“Dean,Dean its okay- you’ve done nothing wrong.’  
  
“But you read the letters.” The hunter said just managing to control his voice  
  
“Yes. You are a very passionate writer, if only you had spoken those words rather than written them”  
  
Dean started laughing. First a chuckle then a full grown gut busting laugh “ha! Me? I thought you knew how fucking emotionally constipated I am. I can't even… Cas i’ve loved you for years, and I would have never told you- Don't even think otherwise if you looked in my head you’d run and never come back” Dean finished, pulling away from Castiel to look at his face but all he saw was the angels small, sad smile  
  
“Dean before you say anything else, I have. I’ve seen all the the doubt, tiredness, and loneliness. If you want me to look right now I will.”   
Deans eyes widened “P-please”

  
“Alright” Castiel said as he slowly tore down Dean’s mental wall “You will be viewing them with me”  
  
Nothing surprising in the early years, Dean was raising Sammy, while skipping his own childhood  
first crush on a punk girl with half her head buzzed. A few more until.. A boy named Noah appeared. Hazel eyes, blonde hair, a year older than Dean and sooo out of his league, Dean never spoke to him. But he was there. More crushes and dates, only girls Dean knew he was wrong to look at a boy like that, its what John taught him.  
Years passed in his memories, as he went on solo hunts after Sam went to college, Dean drunk stumbling after a man who looked eerily like Noah, pushing him against a wall and pretty much attacking his mouth until the said the simplest order  
“Suck me”  
  
Dean cringed watching this particular memory until Cas’s voice broke in “Is this enough?”  
  
The hunter nodded , now exhausted but refusing to yawn.

  
“Dean I am still here, I won’t leave, Again” He added.  
  
“Do you hate me now? I’m not your ‘righteous man’” Dean asked leaning into Castiel’s warm embrace “I started the apocalypse”  
  
Castiel nodded “Yes you did, and you fixed it.”  
Reaching up to stroke Dean's hair he said “You’re not broken. I see a man who gave up his childhood to let Sam have one. I see a man who hated himself so much that you drank and… slept just to numb the pain, but you were never broken. You kept your spirit. In hell you held out as long as possible but I couldn’t get to you in time.  
Dean, you write beautiful stories and have an exquisite mind. You love fiercely and forever but doubt yourself until nothing is left. I see a man who forgave me when no one else could - or should have. I see the only being I could ever love”  
  
Dean froze “What?”  
  
“I love you Dean.” Castiel said still stroking the hunter's hair as he processed it “Really?”  
  
“Since i first saw your kind,loving, pure soul”  
  
Dean did yawn here, but quickly cut it off with a soft “Cas”  
  
“Oh i’m sorry. The memory viewing put quite a strain on you.” There was fluttering then Dean felt nauseous “We're in your room. You need sleep”  
  
“Gotta take my shoes off” he muttered bending down. Castiel did the same, also removing his coat. As dean crawled into bed, the angel followed , pulling Dean towards him “Get some rest, I will still be here.”  
  
He laid down facing the angel with his head on the other’s shoulder and arms secured around his torso. He felt safe, loved even.  
  
“Love you Cas….”  
  
“I love you too Dean was the last thing Dean heard before falling into sleeps clutches.

**Author's Note:**

> if y'all like this ill add more but this is all i dreamed up... @_@ yes i know i have a weird mind


End file.
